The Bones of An Extremely Interesting Life
Here’s how you can live a life that leads to stories that people will want to hear.
My ears popped up like dogs’ ears do. I just couldn’t get enough of his stories. Every story he had was better than the last one. They were stories I had never heard before. Every story he told me induced a ‘‘What?!’’ or an “Are you serious?”
It was this guy I met on a trek a few years ago. Hands down he was the most interesting person I had ever met. And for a while now, I’ve been trying to figure out what made him so interesting. And beyond that, I’ve been trying to break down what leads to an interesting life.
In my contemplation and research, I have found that these four factors can help build a really interesting life. So let’s dive in!
Exploration That Makes Dora The Explorer Look Like a Baby
I recently learned a very interesting concept called the explore/exploit tradeoff from the book Algorithms to Live By. The concept is based on everyday choices where we choose to stick with what we know works or choosing novelty instead.
When your stomach rumbles, do you order your usual from your go-to-restaurant or do you try out something new; perhaps a new cuisine? In other words, do you exploit what you know won’t disappoint you, or do you gamble to explore something new?
And if you decide to order your usual, what would you like to watch on your television? Will you watch an episode of FRIENDS for the umpteenth time, or watch something you haven’t before; perhaps a documentary on snakes?
The question holds importance because it’s a tradeoff and one comes at the expense of the other. When you explore, you have to give up the unrisked pleasure of exploiting. And when you exploit, you have to give up the richness of experience you’ll gain from exploring.
I believe that each one of us is inclined to one side of the virgule. You’re either more of an explorer, testing new waters. Or you’re like me, an exploiter, sticking to what I know works.
However, to live an interesting life, you have to have a bag of experiences that others don’t. And that means a lot of exploration. You have to try out food that others haven’t even heard of. You have to travel to places that are not the go-to for the commoners. You have to explore hobbies that are different.
In essence, you have to be more of a gambler. You have to take risks. You have to be willing to bear the disappointment that can come from trying new things. All of this, in the pursuit of a stretched perception; a life-well explored.
Where do you start? Start simple. Try out a new cuisine this weekend instead of your go-to. Watch a Ukrainian movie, instead of rewatching your favourite. Perhaps, try a new hobby, like playing the Kalimba (It’s not that hard).
Of course, sometimes, you just want to stick with what works. And that’s okay. But my point is to just adopt a decent bias towards exploration so that you can have a rich bag of experiences.
Deep Exploitation of at Least One Area of Life
One of my friends is a Chess FIDE master. He’s been playing chess since he was wetting his bed. And he once told me that sometimes, he had nightmares where he was losing games. In his dreams, every move would be distinct. Sometimes he’d win, and sometimes he would lose. And those losses turned into nightmares; perhaps leading to more bed-wetting. LOL.
But that’s so interesting!
He’s told me that even when he’s doing something else, a game would be going on in the back of his head. Like a dripping faucet, Chess was always ‘on’ in his subconscious.
In Netflix’s Queen’s Gambit, a scene is shown where Beth Harmon and Benny Watts — two professional Chess players — are playing a game while they’re driving. They didn’t even need a board to play. They’re so familiar with the pieces and the positions, that instead of playing, they could talk a game of chess. This is called blindfold chess.
But this happens only when you exploit a part of life for years. You get to a level that no one else an experience. You’re able to swim in the deepest waters, where amateurs are not allowed.
Hence, in at least one area of life; go insanely deep. Exploit as much as you can. Know everything there is to know about that field. It will take years, yes. But when you get to the point, you’ll have experiences that no one else can. And then you’ll tell stories that no one else can. And stay assured, people will be dying to hear those stories.
Having The Courage to Choose The Road Less Taken In Any Walk of Life
When I was a freshman, I met a girl that I really liked. She was my senior, but we had a few chance encounters, and we seemed to hit it off. So I thought I’d look her up on social media, connect with her, and see where it goes. But when I did look her up, I drew a blank. She was nowhere to be found. Facebook? No. Instagram? Nope. Nada.
I was disappointed as I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid that perhaps, I won’t get another chance to talk to her because we weren’t even in the same batch. However, as fate would have it, we did meet again. And now, we’re 38 months in our relationship.
But, what intrigued me was that fact that she had no presence on the internet. That made me want to get to know her better. After all, not being on social media is a very courageous move. You have to ignore a hell of a lot of FOMO to be able to do that.
But that is what I’ve learned about interesting people. They’re not afraid to swim against the water. They’re not afraid to do what no one is doing.
Hence, if you want to be interesting, don’t be afraid to do what others aren’t doing. It doesn’t matter what you do. Be an origamist. Quit social media. Of course, don’t do something different just for the sake of doing something different. But when your gut tells you to take the road less taken, and you feel afraid because it’s uncommon, don’t let that stop you. Be courageous, and walk that lonely road.
After all, that’s what Robert Frost told us to do.
Unabashed Authenticity
“Don’t move the bowl! Let the ants eat in peace.”
“Mum, are you crazy? What is wrong with you?”
I tried to move a bowl my mother had put food in for the ants. Yes, my mother had food out for ants on purpose. It must have been quite a feast for them.
And that’s not all. My mother also seasons puffed rice with spices and puts them out in dishes along with some grains for the local birds to eat. Don’t ask. Apparently, the birds don’t like plain puffed rice. And she also feeds the dog that lives near our apartment every single day.
And honestly, she’s more worried about feeding ants and birds and dogs and the occasional feline visitors than she is about feeding me. And this sort of crazy, unexplainable compassion for animals certainly borders to weirdness. But that is who my mother is. And I like her like that.
People are afraid of being weird. They feel that being normal is safer. However, Yale Neuroscientists say that none of us is normal. We’re all a little bit weird.
So when we see people who don’t seem weird, it just means that they’re being inauthentic. They’re hiding their idiosyncrasies. They have a facade hiding their real faces.
And that’s not interesting. Neither is it a happy way to live life. Interesting lives are those that are inhibited. They do what they like. They share what they feel; irrespective of whether people may perceive them as weirdos.
The truth is, we’re all freaks. And that’s fine. In fact, it’s more than fine. It’s something we should celebrate. As Michelangelo says about his statue, David,
David was always there in the marble. I just took away everything that was not David.
So, throw away whatever is not you and let your freak fly. People will love you for it.
In Summary
What leads to an interesting life? Here are 4 factors that may help build an extremely interesting life.
- Exploring more to have a rich bag of experiences.
- Exploiting some areas of life to depths that others cannot fathom.
- Having the courage to walk on roads that others won’t.
- Not being afraid to let your freak fly.
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