4 Mindset Shifts to Help You Start Living an Extraordinary Life
Seeing these parts of life in a new light can help in your journey to be extraordinary.
Here’s the thing about living an extraordinary life. Not everyone can do it.
That’s by definition. And I don’t believe everyone even needs to do it. Not everyone has to have an extraordinary life to be happy. Such a model would guarantee happiness only for the top 2–3% of the world. That’s not efficient.
That said, I’ve also come to realise that there are some people who have to be extraordinary to be happy. I think I am one of those people. Now, I’m not saying I am extraordinary, but I know that’s where I’m headed. Because I need to be that to be happy. It feels like a curse at times, but mostly, I feel it’s a gift.
And deep down, most people know what they’re supposed to be. And that’s what you have to ask yourself. Who are you supposed to be? If you think you’ll be content having an ordinary life, read no further. However, if you’re in the select few who want to make the most out of this life, then this piece is for you.
After realizing who I need to be, I’ve started learning more about what this journey takes. Among the many things I’ve learnt, here are four that I’ll share in this piece.
The Most Important Day
During the lockdown, something magical happened. I started getting serious about fitness and started doing HIIT every day to lose weight. (I know now that you’re not supposed to do HIIT every day, but back then, I didn’t.)
What stunned me was that I was extremely consistent with my sessions and did one every single day. Although I lowkey hated it because it was so tough, even then I did it every day. I didn’t know how I was able to do it, but in retrospect, I now know-how.
Here’s how. Every day, when the clock struck 6, I knew I had to do the HIIT session. And then, a voice in my head said to me, “ I don’t feel like doing it today.” And then, another voice in my head said to me, “But doing what you’re supposed to do when you don’t feel like is exactly what will differentiate you from the ordinary.”
And that single thought was a godsend for me. I don’t know how I picked it up. Maybe I read it somewhere, and it sneaked into my subconscious and showed up exactly when I needed it every day.
It’s a profound truth after all. Everyone does what they’re supposed to do when they feel like it. Most people don’t when they don’t feel like it. If you can start doing what you’re supposed to do even when you don’t feel like it, that by definition makes you extraordinary, doesn’t it?
Most writers would stop here after telling you what to do. But the how of it is a bit tough. I also want to tell you how to actually pull it off.
It happened to me by accident. That profound thought started popping in my head by itself. But now, I know how to intentionally start inducing powerful thoughts right when they’re needed. And it’s the most basic principle of neuroplasticity.
Let’s assume two things —
- That neuron A is the thought, “I don’t feel like doing it today. ”
- And neuron B is the thought, “But doing what you’re supposed to do when you don’t feel like it is exactly what will differentiate you from the ordinary”
What you want to do is link those two neurons. So that when A fires, B fires too. How can you do it? Simple. Every morning, visualise that it’s time to do what you’re supposed to do, then induce thought A, and then on purpose, induce thought B. It will take less than 2 minutes. Do it for long enough, and those thoughts will get linked. Think of this as practising good thoughts.
And then, when the actual moment comes to start taking action, and a voice in your head says that you don’t feel like it today, this strong thought will pop up and help you do what you’re supposed to do even when you don’t feel like it.
Note that this thought will work only for people who actually want extraordinary lives.
Take it one step further and start convincing yourself that the day you don’t feel like doing it is the most important day because it is what will differentiate you. Now, whenever I don’t feel like working out or something else, a second thought pops up reminding me of the higher importance of that day, and I end up being more excited to kick ass in life. That’s where you want to be as well.
Action is Therapeutic
Around three months ago, something terrible happened to me. (That’s what I thought at the time.) I won’t get into the details of it, but I was terribly hurt mentally. I told myself that I’ll take an extended break from all things productive, and go easy on myself for a while.
I told myself I won’t study much for a few weeks and eat whatever the hell I want to. And my friends advised me to do the same. It made sense. Going easy on myself seemed genuinely valid at the time.
But I was still hurt. And I needed to stop being hurt. So I picked up this book that had been sitting in my kindle forever, but I didn’t feel like reading it until then. The book was named, “Can't Hurt Me” by David Goggins. I genuinely only read the book because I wanted to stop being hurt. If the content of the book would have been the same but the name was something else, I might not have read it.
But I did. And I’m so fucking glad I did. Because it changed everything. It’s an amazing book that just got me to realise that you can get so much out of life. It reminded me how much I’m capable of, and that I wanted to become the best version of myself.
Fast forward to now, the last 60 days have been the most productive of my life. I’ve done more than I usually would do in 6 months. And I feel unstoppable. And guess what, I’m not ‘hurt’ anymore.
That’s the thing. Action is therapeutic. When you inevitably get hurt in life, however many times, the sanest advice you have for yourself is to go easy on yourself. And that’s what your friends tell you to do as well.
But could it be possible that we go too easy on ourselves? To the point that it gets counterproductive, and we feel bad that we’re not doing anything? I think so. What I’ve learned is that going way too easy on yourself means essentially stopping, or even going backwards — and that can’t feel good.
But taking some action — less or more depends on the situation — can truly help you keep sane. And in the truest sense, I believe that nothing is more therapeutic than taking action to improve yourself, not even therapy.
So remember, when you’re hurt in life, remember that action is not an added burden, but a therapy that can help you heal and become extraordinary while you’re at it.
“In Spite Of”
In his book Antifragile, Nassim Nicholas Taleb explains the beautiful concept of antifragility.
Fragile things break due to external pressure or chaos. Antifragile things, on the other hand, gain from it. They become stronger due to it. Mind you, antifragile is different from being robust. Something robust can withstand external force — but stays the same later. Antifragile gains from the force, and becomes stronger later.
This concept helped me understand the power of the words, “In spite of”. We’ll get to it. But first, let me tell you about Ibrahim Hamato.
Ibrahim is an extraordinary table tennis player from Egypt. But guess how many hands he has? Zero. Yes. You read that right. He holds the racket in his mouth, tosses the ball for service with his foot, but can still kick your ass in a game.
Ibrahim lost both his hands in a train accident when he was young. And then, he grew up to be a paralympic table tennis player, winning many medals for his country. That’s pretty badass, don’t you think?
Here’s the thing though. Ibrahim is not famous because he’s a good table tennis player. There are many who are better than him but aren’t as famous as him. He’s famous because he’s an excellent table tennis player, in spite of having no hands. And that is the power of “In spite of.”
We’re all born with limitations. Some of us have lower IQs. Some of us are born without any natural talent. Some of us suffer from a genuine lack of opportunities because of where we were born. And we accept these and live with them.
But think about how fulfilling it would be to do extraordinary things in life in spite of your disadvantages.
- Imagine being able to start an incredible business in spite of having the super-tight schedule of a single mother.
- Imagine having a kickass body in spite of being super-obese since you were a kid.
- Imagine entering a college like Harvard in spite of being less academically smarter or gifted than your classmates.
This simple mindset shift converts every disadvantage you have into an opportunity to do something extraordinary, to see it in a new light. The question is, do you want to do it?
A Benign, Powerful Driver of Extraordinary Growth
What pushes people to do extraordinary things? For most of us, it’s the pressure we put on ourselves to do extraordinary things in the first place. And that’s great. But recently, I’ve discovered another driver of extraordinary growth that most people don’t utilize — Curiosity.
I’m not talking about the childlike curiosity to know more about the world, but the curiosity to know more about yourself, to know what you’re capable of. Here’s how it works.
Most people ask themselves, “Can I do this?” and then, they assume that they can’t and the story ends there for them. Here’s the alternative I’m presenting.
Ask yourself, “Can I do this?” and then, don’t assume any answer. Just tell yourself, “I don’t know, but let’s find out.” In fact, this is exactly what Kobe Bryant said in an interview.
Kobe: I would watch Magic play, I’d watch Michael play, and I would see them doing these unbelievable things, and I’d say you know, can I get to that level?
Kobe: I don’t know but… let’s find out.
And then he made a genuine attempt to find out the truth, and well, he got to that level.
The thing is, most people don’t ask that question to themselves. Of those who do, most people assume that they can’t. I’m just asking you to be among the very few who are genuinely curious to find out if they can do extraordinary things or not.
This curiosity is a different driver for growth than the pressure most people put on themselves. That pressure, as we all know, can be quite heavy, and sometimes damaging. Curiosity, on the other hand, is more benign. It’s just a search for something. Humans have a natural tendency to be curious anyway.
Be curious about what you’re able to achieve. And then be bold enough to do what it takes to find out the truth. And I promise you, the truth won’t disappoint you.
read our print magazine for free
when you sign up to mind cafe’s newsletter, you’ll gain instant access to four articles from mind cafe’s gorgeous print magazine totally for free. click here to join.
